We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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