fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
