I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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