People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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