If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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