and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
