Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
