3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize