If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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