i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
