haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
