I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
