fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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