Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
