I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My vagina is officially offended.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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