her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
