it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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