omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
