me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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