I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
