The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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