Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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