i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
