party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
