someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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