you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
