peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
