we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
