She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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