i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
