his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
