I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
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while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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