Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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