What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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