question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My vagina is very pro this idea
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