Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As shirtless as possible
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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