"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
