I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
