i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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