His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
