Don't you send me to vm
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
