who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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