ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
