How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
