WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
