I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
