my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
