Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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