just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
PANTIES FOUND
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