I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
