i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
