He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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