I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
