my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize