you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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