Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
