if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize