I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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