You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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