You can't motorboat a personality
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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