there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
