I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
